Prostitutes and People

Remember Peela house in Slumdog Millionaire where Ringa song is picturised. As part of our field trip, we were taken to chor bazaar, elephanta cave and peela house (its actually a street with 2-3 floor dingy houses without any doors- only curtains). It is one of the many lanes in mumbai which is called "red-light area" or the place where you can pick up prostitutes.
We reached there at around 7:30 pm - the business begins at around that time. We were not allowed to click pics on the street. Initially when we entered the street, it just looked like normal street with various shop. What stood out were chain of theatres, each of different color and each showing really old movies like tridev. There was a suspicious looking video game parlour too. But then when we moved in we saw girls - ostentatiously dressed, with the brightest of lipsticks - standing as if they were waiting.
As we moved inward into the street, their numbers increased - and so did their variety. There were extremely young ones in their teens to middle aged women. Some smiling, some terse in their expressions. Some wore indian dresses like salwar suits. Some wore western. Some wore two piece (Indian or western) showing off their bellies. And some dressed in a proper saree, in 40s looking somber, without any makeup - one of those ladies you might find buying vegetables in a market - and unless you saw them standing in a waiting pose, you wouldn't have recognized that they were one of them.
One of my classmates was literally grabbed by one of them and the poor boy was so scared that in rest of the walk he was grabbing one of us for protection. One of us was not of Indian nation and he was attracting special glares from everyone (maybe he seemed loaded). The market in this lane was catering to lower middle class and hence the prices were really low - around 800 rupees (16$).
Most of the class guys were making fun of them, when they came back. Some said well maybe the circumstances that got them into this might be different but now they are doing it with their own choice so why be sympathetic.
One of my classmates asked how I felt when I looked at them. When I was walking past them, I was seeing them at the distance, totally avoiding looking at them - just whatever I could capture from the corner of my eyes. I was feeling ashamed that in that street I was going for no reason but was being like a "tourist". I didn't know what they would be thinking looking at me? Do they compare notes with women like me who were circumstantially not forced to resort to something that would put them on a street every night - displaying their best - hoping to get a customer - enough money to go on till the next night. Regardless of whether they enjoyed or hated their profession, what was transpiring in their head at that time?

I remember getting real scared before my MSFT interview, or before screening of my foundation film in front of my faculty. I found it extremely difficult to be judged. I always hate it. I hate my "working with actors" acting classes because the aim of the class is to make directors realize how difficult it is to act- or difficult it is to be judged for your personality. I remember giving presentations of my work and not being able to eat because I was so scared before it. But once I had to give it everyday, I had some confidence. I knew my strong points, my weak points. But just before a presentation, a few minutes before, with a room full of people, me watching them - about to begin, were the thoughts in my head same as theirs.

In a steady state, how different is their job from mine except that the society has trained us to moralistically disagree with them? Maybe because people enter the Peela house only when the discipline of the society ceases to work for them.

Yellow Butterfly

The sun was taking a dip
Into the ocean,
Behind the mountains.
A young ray of light,
leaped above,
And fell on the meadows
A sleepy butterfly saw it.
And became yellow.

From past to present - reasons for divorce rate to increase in India

I and Saurabh were discussing about the factors behind increasing divorce rates - influence of "western" culture",women's liberalisation, break up of joint family when Saurabh came up with this insightful point of view.
Earlier we had an agriculture based society. From there came the concept of settling down. More the number of children, more number of hands to work. Hence an average family had 6-7 children. Assuming that a woman needs to devote atleast 2-3 years of her life right from pregnancy to post-childbirth caring for the kid it would mean 12-14 years of her life. Assuming the average life to be around sixty, 45-50% of her post puberty life would be 100% dedicated in rearing children. That means a woman's role in the society was to have kids and take care of them and hence they were home bound. She needed the man to take care of her financially so apart from love, she had strong economic dependence on her spouse. Also, in tradition hindu society, the kids stick to mother (see from mahabharata - kunti's kids though born from different men belonged to her). For a husband, kids also meant helping hands at work and a heir. A man without kids had no social or economic standing. Hence for a man, it was not easy to abandon his wife and kids for another woman as that would leave him alone to begin with and in a way also guilty of abandoning the kids.

In metros today, there are maximum 1-2 children per family. A woman has to spent far lesser dedicated time (6-7% ) to take care of the kids. Also these days rearing a child is way more expensive. The economic demands are such that both woman and man has to work. Hence both of them are financially liberated. As against olden days where there was both love and economic necessity to stay together, today there is only love needed for people to stay together. And ofcourse, love can be fickle and hence the increase in divorce rates.
Though lots of people say that it is against our tradition to have divorce, the economic framework on which our tradition was based has changed. Hence the increase in divorce rates and the society should as well accept it.