I'm the darkness in the light
I'm the leftness in the right
I'm the rightness in the wrong
I'm the shortness in the long
I'm the goodness in the bad
I'm the saneness in the mad
I'm the sadness in the joy
I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy
I'm the ghost in the machine
I'm the genius in the gene
I'm the beauty in the beast
I'm the sunset in the east
I'm the ruby in the dust
I'm the trust in the mistrust
I'm the trojan horse in troy
I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy
I'm the tiger's empty cage
I'm the mystery's final page
I'm the stranger's lonely glance
I'm the hero's only chance
I'm the undiscovered land
I'm the single grain of sand
I'm the christmas morning toy
I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy
I'm the world you'll never see
I'm the slave you'll never free
I'm the truth you'll never know
I'm the place you'll never go
I'm the sound you'll never hear
I'm the course you'll never steer
I'm the will you'll not destroy
I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy
I'm the half-truth in the lie
I'm the why not in the why
I'm the last roll of the die
I'm the old school in the tie
I'm the spirit in the sky
I'm the catcher in the rye
I'm the twinkle in her eye
I'm the jeff goldblum in the fly
Who am i?
My fav lines in italics ... what's yours?
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Happy new year - oh well!
So there we go - another revolution around the sun - done - ..
So well how are you celebrating?
"..ummm well I am planning to do lots of things"
yeah so what are you gonna do ?
"err... well I am gonna have lots of fun"
---
Last time I felt cornered this way was when one of my uncles were interogating me on what I want to do after 12th standard ( I was in 7th standard then).
I guess every new year I face the same dilemma as to what to do to celebrate the damn new year's eve. Well, since when celebration has become a need ? However, friends celebrate, families celebrate, colleagues celebrate, strangers celebrate - so well me celebrates.
Happy domestication - oops - happy new year folks!
addendum: It rocked!
So well how are you celebrating?
"..ummm well I am planning to do lots of things"
yeah so what are you gonna do ?
"err... well I am gonna have lots of fun"
---
Last time I felt cornered this way was when one of my uncles were interogating me on what I want to do after 12th standard ( I was in 7th standard then).
I guess every new year I face the same dilemma as to what to do to celebrate the damn new year's eve. Well, since when celebration has become a need ? However, friends celebrate, families celebrate, colleagues celebrate, strangers celebrate - so well me celebrates.
Happy domestication - oops - happy new year folks!
addendum: It rocked!
Friday, December 29, 2006
Haiku
As per dictionary.com -
A Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.
Have been trying that for a while - it's fun:
The blithe moonlit stream
And the playful southern breeze
Brings you back to me
---
The drunken lady
Resonates youthful laughter
Flight of fantasy
---
the fun part is adhering to the syllable constraint ...worth a try ...
A Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.
Have been trying that for a while - it's fun:
The blithe moonlit stream
And the playful southern breeze
Brings you back to me
---
The drunken lady
Resonates youthful laughter
Flight of fantasy
---
the fun part is adhering to the syllable constraint ...worth a try ...
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Being commited ...
what is this commitment drama I am seeing now-a-days?
If there is love then isn't it same as love (what more can you promise) and if there is no love then isn't it same as abstinence (what less can you promise)!
If there is love then isn't it same as love (what more can you promise) and if there is no love then isn't it same as abstinence (what less can you promise)!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Showerless in Seattle
Well not quite literally though (want to save my rep) - for those of you who have not been really in sync with headlines of cnn.com - seattle was hit by a storm last thu night and since then we had no power in most of the places - well- few of the places - ahem well -very few of the places -ahem well in my apartment complex (and there are always some unfortunate few) - and ahem well in Sam's apartment.
So here are the details in chronological order - from an eye witness (who is me - my news channel is currently a bit understaffed):
Thursday -
Thu Night(sorry we don't track dates - this is all the info you get for free) - I finished Wuthering heights (talks about some ghosts at the end) (this info was for building up the background)
Thu midnight - I hear loud noises of wind whistling. I saw a tree swaying violantly in the wind - I wondered whether it will fall on my car (left) or abhishek ram's( my neighbour's) car (right). Thankfully it didnt fall.
Thu sometime after that - power went off (that was the last time i felt electricity in my apartment till ...)
Friday-
Fri morning - Driving to office. All signals off - traffic packed - cars moving slowly one at a time - One collegue called and said dont come to office. I turned back towards home. Other colleague (read boss) called - said come to office - so turned back to office.
Fri 10 am - In office (total 5 people) wondering what to do (hadnt taken shower) - went to another colleague's place - got a silver suitcase that had poker cards and chips - played poker in the office lounge
Fri - 2 pm - hungry- We started looking for food. Finally found a place at 4 pm which had 45 mins wait - ate and boxed the rest for rainy days (havent eaten that till now though)
Fri night - Went home - My mobile was not working - there was no light - it was deadly cold. There was 1 candle in the house (since it was an expensive candle so didnt want to burn it totally off) - do i have a choice? It was dark and cold ... i remembered wuthering heights - whoaa ghosts!! finally i heard someone on the stairs - ghosts - what - with high heels - that was my chinese neighbour (what my neighbours are chinese!) used her phone to call friends who were looking for food in bellevue.
Fri night after 30 mins - bell rings (nothing works but the door bell works)- rescued by friends. Wow!
Fri night -went to dinner at "king n i" and then to movie (holiday - total chick flick)
Fri - came back and froze to sleep at home
Saturday -
Sat morning -no chai (gas is electric)- ran to neighbor (abhishek ram's apmnt) - had cold coffee - he had a landline - made few calls found microsoft building 50 has power
Sat noon- went to building 50 took shower(for 30 mins) and had tea and biscuits there. Everyone came - we went to Kent Punjabi sweets for food - ate heartily
Sat - eve - yash and narendra rescued - went to movie - kabul express (boo hoo hoo)- and then came back with firewood for some fire - lo there was electircity at Y's and N's apartment (but not mine - how can a low end aparment like parks have and not adagio)- slept there - it was warm finally.
Sunday-
Sun morning - woke up at 9 - went to proclub (gym) for shower (at 2 pm)
Sun eve- went for shopping with Yash, Narendra and Yash's mom and compensated for all the losses i had in life with the only profit I had made so far.
Sun night - Slept again at yash's place
Monday-
Mon morning -came to office - no shower.
Mon night - Dinner at Paramesh - finally took shower and camped at Dami's place with G3 and Sam.
Tuesday-
Tue morning - woke up - made chai - 4 people chit-chating - well its not that bad - felt as if I was holidaying at friend's place.
Tue afternoon - power came in Adagio - was informed by 3 people that they could see lights on inside my apartment (may be i should keep my blinds closed)
Tue night - went to gym and showered there- went home - I had power ...
Wednesday -
Wed morning - my manager kept a 9.30 am meeting - rushed to office
Wed 9.30 - meeting got postponed to 10.30.
This kinda summarizes:
http://nagapuram.blogspot.com/2006/12/blackout.html
So here are the details in chronological order - from an eye witness (who is me - my news channel is currently a bit understaffed):
Thursday -
Thu Night(sorry we don't track dates - this is all the info you get for free) - I finished Wuthering heights (talks about some ghosts at the end) (this info was for building up the background)
Thu midnight - I hear loud noises of wind whistling. I saw a tree swaying violantly in the wind - I wondered whether it will fall on my car (left) or abhishek ram's( my neighbour's) car (right). Thankfully it didnt fall.
Thu sometime after that - power went off (that was the last time i felt electricity in my apartment till ...)
Friday-
Fri morning - Driving to office. All signals off - traffic packed - cars moving slowly one at a time - One collegue called and said dont come to office. I turned back towards home. Other colleague (read boss) called - said come to office - so turned back to office.
Fri 10 am - In office (total 5 people) wondering what to do (hadnt taken shower) - went to another colleague's place - got a silver suitcase that had poker cards and chips - played poker in the office lounge
Fri - 2 pm - hungry- We started looking for food. Finally found a place at 4 pm which had 45 mins wait - ate and boxed the rest for rainy days (havent eaten that till now though)
Fri night - Went home - My mobile was not working - there was no light - it was deadly cold. There was 1 candle in the house (since it was an expensive candle so didnt want to burn it totally off) - do i have a choice? It was dark and cold ... i remembered wuthering heights - whoaa ghosts!! finally i heard someone on the stairs - ghosts - what - with high heels - that was my chinese neighbour (what my neighbours are chinese!) used her phone to call friends who were looking for food in bellevue.
Fri night after 30 mins - bell rings (nothing works but the door bell works)- rescued by friends. Wow!
Fri night -went to dinner at "king n i" and then to movie (holiday - total chick flick)
Fri - came back and froze to sleep at home
Saturday -
Sat morning -no chai (gas is electric)- ran to neighbor (abhishek ram's apmnt) - had cold coffee - he had a landline - made few calls found microsoft building 50 has power
Sat noon- went to building 50 took shower(for 30 mins) and had tea and biscuits there. Everyone came - we went to Kent Punjabi sweets for food - ate heartily
Sat - eve - yash and narendra rescued - went to movie - kabul express (boo hoo hoo)- and then came back with firewood for some fire - lo there was electircity at Y's and N's apartment (but not mine - how can a low end aparment like parks have and not adagio)- slept there - it was warm finally.
Sunday-
Sun morning - woke up at 9 - went to proclub (gym) for shower (at 2 pm)
Sun eve- went for shopping with Yash, Narendra and Yash's mom and compensated for all the losses i had in life with the only profit I had made so far.
Sun night - Slept again at yash's place
Monday-
Mon morning -came to office - no shower.
Mon night - Dinner at Paramesh - finally took shower and camped at Dami's place with G3 and Sam.
Tuesday-
Tue morning - woke up - made chai - 4 people chit-chating - well its not that bad - felt as if I was holidaying at friend's place.
Tue afternoon - power came in Adagio - was informed by 3 people that they could see lights on inside my apartment (may be i should keep my blinds closed)
Tue night - went to gym and showered there- went home - I had power ...
Wednesday -
Wed morning - my manager kept a 9.30 am meeting - rushed to office
Wed 9.30 - meeting got postponed to 10.30.
This kinda summarizes:
http://nagapuram.blogspot.com/2006/12/blackout.html
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Guru ...
After having met a person who is member of a cult and has a Guru to whom he has dedicated most of his life too, and learning about few more such persons (co-incidentally at the same time) I got into this debate - is having a Guru good or not? Are all the Gurus out there to capitalize on human minds or are there some who are there to nurture them?
And then was wondering, what makes a person seek a Guru?
Well we know that human mind is inquisitive, there are questions - that are yet not explained - concept of God, concept of life and concept of death ...it is sometimes good to question - but how correct it is to find some answers and believe in them to an extent that it sabotages your normal life?
I alternate between believing in God and believing in randomness -all the time ...I don't know if that is right or having a consistent belief is better ..it works well for me - I feel it balances me out from drifting on either side (though I must say I am a bit partial to the fact that God exists - there is a certain comfort in that thought - you know like someone is figuring things out for you).
I was told by one of the followers that - you have to give up your mind - if you continue to reason everything then you will never experience the truth - but for me giving up the mind is like giving up me ..and if I give up myself then how can I experience? ...In this living form, are we adequate to realize the truth? Or is it just me who is naive?
What makes a person seek a Guru? Does he get answers of all the questions in that person? And gets a purpose in that devotion? Answers and purpose that he cannot reason but he can believe - belief without reason? Is it realizable? reasonable? And then aren't the most real emotions of life unreasonable - like love ... - Is finding a Guru like falling in love - experiencing the pleasure of getting psychologically seduced - experiencing the comfort of being belonged - or of belonging? ...Or is it just an illusion? A mind game that targeted your vulnerabilty...may be your inquisitiveness too ...I am still confused ?
---
"It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
- James Thurber
And then was wondering, what makes a person seek a Guru?
Well we know that human mind is inquisitive, there are questions - that are yet not explained - concept of God, concept of life and concept of death ...it is sometimes good to question - but how correct it is to find some answers and believe in them to an extent that it sabotages your normal life?
I alternate between believing in God and believing in randomness -all the time ...I don't know if that is right or having a consistent belief is better ..it works well for me - I feel it balances me out from drifting on either side (though I must say I am a bit partial to the fact that God exists - there is a certain comfort in that thought - you know like someone is figuring things out for you).
I was told by one of the followers that - you have to give up your mind - if you continue to reason everything then you will never experience the truth - but for me giving up the mind is like giving up me ..and if I give up myself then how can I experience? ...In this living form, are we adequate to realize the truth? Or is it just me who is naive?
What makes a person seek a Guru? Does he get answers of all the questions in that person? And gets a purpose in that devotion? Answers and purpose that he cannot reason but he can believe - belief without reason? Is it realizable? reasonable? And then aren't the most real emotions of life unreasonable - like love ... - Is finding a Guru like falling in love - experiencing the pleasure of getting psychologically seduced - experiencing the comfort of being belonged - or of belonging? ...Or is it just an illusion? A mind game that targeted your vulnerabilty...may be your inquisitiveness too ...I am still confused ?
---
"It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
- James Thurber
Saturday, December 09, 2006
7 innocent secrets of success
A fwd from my dad:
Q: What are the 7 secrets of success?
A: answers in one room.
1. Roof said: Aim should be high.
2. Fan said: Be Cool
3. Clock said: Every min. is precious.
4. Mirror said: Reflect before you act.
5. Window said: See the world
6. Calendar said: Be up-to-date
7. Door said: Push hard to achieve Ur goals.
Q: What are the 7 secrets of success?
A: answers in one room.
1. Roof said: Aim should be high.
2. Fan said: Be Cool
3. Clock said: Every min. is precious.
4. Mirror said: Reflect before you act.
5. Window said: See the world
6. Calendar said: Be up-to-date
7. Door said: Push hard to achieve Ur goals.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Illusions ...
"...I felt the sun burning in my eyes and head - knocking me down as if thousand hammers were hitting me - all over. My dried tongue went over my parched lips ...I thought I would die...I needed strength ..I needed hope...
and I fell down and rolled down the sand - half buried - No I wouldn't give up - I stood up slowly - walked ahead towards the direction I thought was right ... walked like a drunk looking for his home...I climbed up again. There at a distance ... I saw - Yes I saw - the broken continuity of the dreary dessert ... I saw a settlement of people. Do I see trees too? Can I have water there? Can I be saved? Is that my hope? I saw colors in women's clothes and men in whites. Are those camels seated there ? Can I make it? Make it to that finishing line ? I know I can...my intuition said so...my intuition ...my desire to live... and then I moved inch by inch ... My will stronger than me ... I wanted to get there - my finishing line. I wished if someone from them saw me they would catch hold of me and save me ...can someone save me...but they are indulged in themselves...aren't they always? I crawled - tried to stand but midway fell on the sand - face in the sand - sand in my mouth - my mouth so dry that the sand couldn't stay - but I could feel the taste - I moved - for my finishing line - inch by inch and then I felt one final surge... of my will - of divine energy from within my soul ... I stood up and ran - my need of survival ... yeah ... I stood up ... I ran ... I ran my gaze steady on my finishing line ... I ran till they could see me and I could see them ... in their eyes ... and there they were ... I felt the relief -the relief made me weak ... and ...then I fell on sand again - straight - like a body without life - a body deserted by its soul ... my hand just touching my finishing line - a few feet away ...my face in the sand ... sand in my mouth - my mouth so dry that the sand couldn't stay ... but I could feel the taste.. the taste now familiar - as if it was my own ...and after a while ... I moved ... my hands moved and then my eyes opened - lifeless eyelids - my head moved out of the sand and I looked .. I looked up and saw..."
and I fell down and rolled down the sand - half buried - No I wouldn't give up - I stood up slowly - walked ahead towards the direction I thought was right ... walked like a drunk looking for his home...I climbed up again. There at a distance ... I saw - Yes I saw - the broken continuity of the dreary dessert ... I saw a settlement of people. Do I see trees too? Can I have water there? Can I be saved? Is that my hope? I saw colors in women's clothes and men in whites. Are those camels seated there ? Can I make it? Make it to that finishing line ? I know I can...my intuition said so...my intuition ...my desire to live... and then I moved inch by inch ... My will stronger than me ... I wanted to get there - my finishing line. I wished if someone from them saw me they would catch hold of me and save me ...can someone save me...but they are indulged in themselves...aren't they always? I crawled - tried to stand but midway fell on the sand - face in the sand - sand in my mouth - my mouth so dry that the sand couldn't stay - but I could feel the taste - I moved - for my finishing line - inch by inch and then I felt one final surge... of my will - of divine energy from within my soul ... I stood up and ran - my need of survival ... yeah ... I stood up ... I ran ... I ran my gaze steady on my finishing line ... I ran till they could see me and I could see them ... in their eyes ... and there they were ... I felt the relief -the relief made me weak ... and ...then I fell on sand again - straight - like a body without life - a body deserted by its soul ... my hand just touching my finishing line - a few feet away ...my face in the sand ... sand in my mouth - my mouth so dry that the sand couldn't stay ... but I could feel the taste.. the taste now familiar - as if it was my own ...and after a while ... I moved ... my hands moved and then my eyes opened - lifeless eyelids - my head moved out of the sand and I looked .. I looked up and saw..."
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Getting the head and "tail" of it!
I remember reading about friction in one of my science classes. And also gravity. Ofcourse I never got that demonstrated to me so well. Wish my life was as lucky as Newton's who saw an apple falling from top of the tree but unfortunately in my story I was the apple.
More old lessons got revised - one was the bio lesson - heard of something called tail bone (coccyx). Well yes it exists! And it is important. Newbee question - "Why do we have a tail bone if we do not have a tail?"
Well as Vids mentioned - Things can never be so bad that it cannot be worse. So here are the top things that I got out of lying flat in my flat:
- Calls from people.
- Didn't have to fill my movemap.
- Best friends cooking food at my place :)
- Getting food delivered from restaurant without lifting a finger
- People dropping in for Chai.
- Me getting down to finally reading wuthering heights, cat's cradle and watching flavors.
- Can potentially afford 24 hours of sleep per day (I could afford it only for 2 days in my life when I was born but after that never got the opportunity).
- Knowledge about what a doughnut pillow is. Sorry it is not edible.
- Eating non-stop and guiltlessly.
- Spending time in my apartment where I pay so much rent.
It is like extended holiday for me. Though I hate to admit - I miss not working for so long now. But well - who cares. So cheers to gravity - bottoms up - ouch!
More old lessons got revised - one was the bio lesson - heard of something called tail bone (coccyx). Well yes it exists! And it is important. Newbee question - "Why do we have a tail bone if we do not have a tail?"
Well as Vids mentioned - Things can never be so bad that it cannot be worse. So here are the top things that I got out of lying flat in my flat:
- Calls from people.
- Didn't have to fill my movemap.
- Best friends cooking food at my place :)
- Getting food delivered from restaurant without lifting a finger
- People dropping in for Chai.
- Me getting down to finally reading wuthering heights, cat's cradle and watching flavors.
- Can potentially afford 24 hours of sleep per day (I could afford it only for 2 days in my life when I was born but after that never got the opportunity).
- Knowledge about what a doughnut pillow is. Sorry it is not edible.
- Eating non-stop and guiltlessly.
- Spending time in my apartment where I pay so much rent.
It is like extended holiday for me. Though I hate to admit - I miss not working for so long now. But well - who cares. So cheers to gravity - bottoms up - ouch!
Friday, December 01, 2006
half baked cookies
Allegedly, we all have souls. something that continues to exist even after we die... death is loss of rest of the things - this body and loss of connections - connections with people that you share your incarnation with ...it means loss of context ...
we are born alone but as we grow parts of other people find their place in our tiny hearts ... and parts of us grow in theirs...and eventually it all ends ...our death signifies not just our end but end of those tiny treasured aspects of people who had become integral part of us ...and when someone we love die - we mourn the loss - of them and of us...as if we are not just contained within this body but are spread all around ...each of us in each of us ...
...how I wish if some connections continue to exist forever...Do they?
we are born alone but as we grow parts of other people find their place in our tiny hearts ... and parts of us grow in theirs...and eventually it all ends ...our death signifies not just our end but end of those tiny treasured aspects of people who had become integral part of us ...and when someone we love die - we mourn the loss - of them and of us...as if we are not just contained within this body but are spread all around ...each of us in each of us ...
...how I wish if some connections continue to exist forever...Do they?
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