Thursday, April 03, 2008

change ...

I have a huge inertia against changes...And I can cite various reasons to not change - lazyness, insecurity, fondness for the existing entities...

But then, I have grown up at multiple places, from south to north to central India, moving with my parents, trying to restart my life in a new place every 5-6 years. I have come to realize that once inflicted upon me, change is something that I takeup to very easily. It's like starting from a white background and constructing my world bit by bit - figuring out the most convenient grocery store, making new friends, trying to make them realize that I am no different and yet preserve my individuality...
When I see that the person that I am today - I see that most of what I am is influenced by all these various environments I have experienced. I have met a variety of people - from frustratingly conservative to mind-numbing liberal ones. I am a product of all these environments. I understand multiple point of views so much so that it makes it difficult for me to identify which one is mine. There are people who are split into 2 personalities, I sometimes feel I am split into many and all of them coexist.
Whenever I go to a new place, it poses a challenge for me - I need to figure it out - tame it. It is a puzzle to be solved, a beast to be tamed. I need to understand the folks, understand their "wassups", their way of living, what they talk when they eat...I learn new things like- I need to be fit, I need to read about politics - and I revel in that understanding and that learning. I feel like expanding my own boundaries, I feel the growth within...I grow because of these changes in my life...and then I become comfortable ...till I am forced to step out of it ...till the tide of change has arrived...no matter how much I try to avoid it I get swept by it...the new change poses new challenges ... and a new cycle starts which is pretty similar , kinda like a deja vu.. At a meta level, nothing changes ...what if I do not want to change and want to just stay at one place...but then I have my inertia ....that propels me towards change...

1 comment:

Ankur Gupta said...
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