Thursday, August 31, 2006

keeping accounts...

The ego :
"I didnt email you coz you didnt reply to the last email i sent 37 days ago ..."
"I didnt call coz you didnt return mine when i last called you 2 days ago, thought you are too busy..."
"I won't have dinner with you coz you refused to come out the two consecutive times I asked you ..."
"I didnt wish you on your birthday even though I remembered it coz you didnt wish me.."

And the guilt:

"I have to go out with her coz I already refused twice! ..."
"I have to call them for dinner coz I had dinner at their place already once."
"Oh i know that person called me twice I gotto call back"
"Oh no he always reply to my email instantaneously and I keep dragging and dragging"

Don't we all keep accounts sometime or other? I don't know how many instances of these account are active in our tiny minds and with how many people ... And well these are never expressed explicitly..its well-understood by both the concerned parties.

And right now - I can actually list down the people I need to call/email becasue it is "my turn" and get a list of people who are supposed to email me first before I send my next email...

I keep it. I know a lot of my close friends who keep it too. What is it? Is it ego? Is it an excuse to not make extra efforts to get the relationship going? Or is it just punishing the other person in your own cold way for not being accomodating enough. I don't know..

I was once told:
"Life mein kabhi khud se jyada kisiko bhaav mat dena - this is something you owe to yourself" (Never give more weightage to anyone than you give yourself)

Well that is true - however in this scenario - there are certain things you do owe to yourself and well making extra efforts to be in touch with someone you care is probably one of them..right?

Current song : Sadkon mein nikla - tanha akela
saath mere kaun hai" (Lucky ali)

Current state: Cooked beans and Kadhi (burnt the beans) - wondering


Anonymous said...

Kiss kiss ko dekhiye kiss kiss ko sochiye
Aaram bade kam ki cheej kambal odake sohiye

Anonymous said...

"Life mein kabhi khud se jyada kisiko bhaav mat dena - this is something you owe to yourself"

Do you think one can be happy this way? Bring a smile on someone's face is so much of pleasure for oneself.

I was once told: Satisfying other's egos keeping yours at bay is a difficult task but it is worth it.

Song: Kisi ki muskuraahaton pe ho nisaar,
Kisi ka dard le sake to le udhaar,
Kisi ke vaaste ho tere dil main pyaar,
Jeena isi ka naam hai :)

And this is not bookish stuff.


Anonymous said...

You can not make every one happy.One should always think about oneself.You energies should go for your self development rather than others

Anonymous said...

Not everyone, but that doesn't mean no one but yourself.
I would rather be proud and happy to have a not so successful career and a not a huge number of friends/acquaintances but a small set of people who really mean everything to you, whom you can blindly trust, which you know would always be present as a shoulder to lean on and with whom you can always share your joys, sorrows and everything in life. That is the only real wealth.

Standing alone on the top of tower can never give me joy, unless I have my dear ones there.

Anonymous said...

yeah correct that is there.But the one thing is can u judge who are your dear one. if u can judge then go ahead

arati kadav said...

wheneveryonre is anoynymous I am conpletely confused :).
@chotu: Agree with your phiilosophy but it works for friends but in these days not for strangers or plain acquaintances. And as I concluded - for friends yo ucan walk that extra mile but preferably not for strangers.

@anonymous 1: Tere are people whose happiness lead to your happiness and there are people who are not. And in the ofrmer case you work to make the other person happy because it rewards you eventually.

@anonymous 2: right :)

@anonymous 3: I am personally against judging people - if your near and dear ones are doing something that is not working out for their own good then it is your responsibility to tell them how they can be happier in their life. Where possibly they are going wrong - make them see point of views they cannot see themselves.

Anonymous said...


Have'nt you come across a person who is so easy going and strong...? What makes them easy-going? And why do we like them?

Being unconditional in loving what we like, could help on 2 counts:

1. It helps the other person to see us for what we are, rather than as some high maintanence person,

2. It saves some energy that we can use elsewhere, perhaps in "building" our identity - our strength?

kakkajee said...

I dont keep tabs :-) .. you keep tabs ??? with me ??? naah i dont think so :-) ..

arati kadav said...

@kakkajee- don't keep tabs with close friends - remember i called you o my birthday before you called me :)