Sunday, March 16, 2008

All men are born equal

unless they are born women...
"Ladki ka kanyadaan sampann hua"
I am one of those lucky few who have experienced equality of sexes enough to perceive that there are inequalities still existing in our society. And I wince at the fact that I tolerated it.
My marriage apart from celebrations of union of 2 souls (ok - gimme a break :)!) was also illuminating in the sense I realized how much sexual discrimination is prevalent in our society and is being carried forward in the name of "culture" and if not culture "tradition".
And I don't know what it is(s it the Gladiator movie I just saw) that has instigated me to voice it right now. Why is there kanyadaan? Why do the bride's family host the marriage function? Why does the girl leave to the groom's house?
Its not for myself but my heart goes out for 1000s of those girls who grow up in their family, happily bossing their younger brothers, being pampered by their father and mother -leave everything and go and settle in some different town, burdened by "customs", need to touch feet at the drop of a hat, need to not raise her eyes, need to cook without ready-to-eat packs. Well with time, she adjusts, she earns her postion, she wins the love of her husband and folks around, but yeah, the first day - like for a small kid left in a hostel by her parents - my heart goes out to her...

9 comments:

Ankur Gupta said...

Those girls pay all this for bossing the little brother :(

arati kadav said...

:)- kiddo

Cosmic Joy said...

So very true .. lets just hope they have a partner who will stand by them through these difficult times, and when it comes to their children (next generation), they would teach them a different set of cultural and social rules so that the future bride does not have to bear this inequality.

Amit said...

so there are inequalities all around... btw, haven't you ever felt that being a beautiful woman in the office, you can easily grab the attention of everybody without much effort. I am not saying this in any bad sense. Is just that, good work from a beautiful woman employee is recognized easier and faster as compared to some other guy (who is just another employee in the office) Has your heart gone out for him ever..

arati kadav said...

Inequalities are all around but it is about us to start recognizing and not accepting it widely and voice your opinion.

I sometimes feel that you start with a disadvantage if you are beautiful coz folks things you might be dumb (have you read the book Blink). Probably the surprise element in the girl performing better leads to faster notice.

Also I have personally felt that a sicerely working person always gets recognized regardless.

Vaidehi Dongre said...

i know exactly what u mean girl!! may be it was my way to rebel when i kept my maiden name :)

arati kadav said...

he he that makes it two of us :)

Megha said...

and 3!

Hi.. how are u holding up at the rainy city? My hiee to Mary too...

Siddhesh said...

Interestingly, there are some cultures where the guy goes and lives with the girl's family... :) Thankfully, I never had to do that and we just set up our own independent nuclear family!