Thursday, August 31, 2006

keeping accounts...

The ego :
"I didnt email you coz you didnt reply to the last email i sent 37 days ago ..."
"I didnt call coz you didnt return mine when i last called you 2 days ago, thought you are too busy..."
"I won't have dinner with you coz you refused to come out the two consecutive times I asked you ..."
"I didnt wish you on your birthday even though I remembered it coz you didnt wish me.."

And the guilt:

"I have to go out with her coz I already refused twice! ..."
"I have to call them for dinner coz I had dinner at their place already once."
"Oh i know that person called me twice I gotto call back"
"Oh no he always reply to my email instantaneously and I keep dragging and dragging"

Don't we all keep accounts sometime or other? I don't know how many instances of these account are active in our tiny minds and with how many people ... And well these are never expressed explicitly..its well-understood by both the concerned parties.

And right now - I can actually list down the people I need to call/email becasue it is "my turn" and get a list of people who are supposed to email me first before I send my next email...

I keep it. I know a lot of my close friends who keep it too. What is it? Is it ego? Is it an excuse to not make extra efforts to get the relationship going? Or is it just punishing the other person in your own cold way for not being accomodating enough. I don't know..

I was once told:
"Life mein kabhi khud se jyada kisiko bhaav mat dena - this is something you owe to yourself" (Never give more weightage to anyone than you give yourself)

Well that is true - however in this scenario - there are certain things you do owe to yourself and well making extra efforts to be in touch with someone you care is probably one of them..right?

Current song : Sadkon mein nikla - tanha akela
saath mere kaun hai" (Lucky ali)

Current state: Cooked beans and Kadhi (burnt the beans) - wondering

Friday, August 25, 2006

Movie review - kabhi alvida na kehna

Saw this movie two weeks ago in totemlake theatre from 11 pm to 3.30 am.
The story is essentially about 2 people - 1 shahrukh khan who is married to a "good" friend of his (Preity Zinta) and is a passionate footballer. The other person is Rani Mujherjee who took 3 years of deliberation to marry Abhishek Bachchan (girl what were you thinking!) and gives a half hearted smile eventually when she gets married after being persuaded by Shahrukh(then a stranger to her) on a park bench. One thing they both come out knowing from the conversation is that they both really do not love their spouses but are just moving along with the flow.
Well the conversation distracts shahrukh so much that he ends up meeting with an accident and losing his footballer leg.
Cut to present - Shahrukh (very convincing and entertaining in his annoyed frustrated and sarcastic role which no one except me enjoyed :() feels inferior to his successful wife and Rani as a wife keeps trying all of abhishek's attempt to make out with her (girl what were you thinking!)..
The story is all about Rani and Shahrukh discovering a connection with each other, denying and admitting their love for eachother, feeling guilty for their straying and well eventually getting together. To make the dragging 3.30 min film fun(?)-filled we have shahrukh's kid who looks like calvin of calvin and hobbs (and yeah he is sweet) and a womaniser amitabh bachchan obsessed with kiron kher's butt and I am sure most of us wil not be really interestd in finding more about that.
The movie is watchable once for the performances. Preity looks old and I guess the director realized it and hence sidelined her completely and Abhishek looks gorgeous and yeah acts great too. Rani is good again but her character doesnt seem to be justified in hating abhishek. I agree that when you fall in love you just fall in love and there is no justification for it but what is the justification for hating someone who is so nice and understanding.

Anyways story not-withstanding I am glad that we finally have a main stream movie that shows that it is okay to fall in love at any point/ at any age in your life. Yeah we have a society out there but I think we should use it as a guideline however every individual has needs and desires and sometimes self-gratification can gain precedence over the rules laid down by the society. And it is okay.

Yeah one thing our hindi movies still have to learn is that career minded girls are not vamps. Its also okay to have desire to rise in life. Why are strong career minded guys heroes and strong career minded girls vamps? I think if a guy is not strong career minded and wants to slack in his life even then he can be a hero and similarly if a girl wants to work hard (dude being career minded is a lot of work) for herself she can be a heroine too. I mean lets not have 2-3 prototypes of people and try to fit everyone in it and draw conclusions. That is the thing about strict soceity rules. It tries to prototype you and makes you feel guilty if you are not one of their ideal bahus or ideal daughters.
Its way too judgemental.
At the end of the day a person's happiness is more important than the whole society's whim. What would you prefer - that a person pretends to be happy or that he/she really is ? Having said that, I am not completely discounting the rules laid down by the soceity because sometimes what you think is best for yourself might not actually be the best for you. But again - sometimes it might be and the individual should take the call and not the society.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

The pleasure of having an unusal name

After a long sabbatical, writing a blog, converting it into daily diary, making it hidden for privacy, deleting it in knowing the futility of having the concept of "private blog" , writing diary (yup real book with papers), to being completely inert - today is the day when I have decided to restart my blog.

What pleased me is the fact that I got the url free and available. I have always heard people say things like:
"You spell your first name wrong"
"You are the only kadav I have seen in my lifetime"
"Our kids will have kadav surname coz they are anyways endangered species"
"A-r-a-t-i is not the right spelling"

Well all those remarks not-with-standing I get to have this name free whenever I want!