Thursday, February 19, 2009

Did you notice him?

Before my car and driver came, I would take the good old auto to my film institute. The journey which is around 35 minutes in car (in moderate traffic) becomes around 45 minutes in auto. I generally have to direct the autos to my apartment as most of the autowallahs in FilmCity do not know about Mount Mary Road.
One evening I got into an auto and told him - "Bandra. West. Lilavati ke paas - Mount Mary Road".
He said - " Pata hai Madam, kal mein hee legaya tha aapko"
"I know madam, I only took you there yesterday".
Well - I spent >45 minutes with the guy and couldn't remember him for even 1 day!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Good byes

I am wondering when was the last time my heart hurt so much that I wished I could have missed that day in my life... There have been numerous occasions when I have been hurt but some hurts are good - you learn, you introspect, you reevaluate your surroundings, but some hurts just hurt. Infact the pain reoccurs in my dreams.
The last time it hurt that bad was when I woke up in my Seattle apartment. Saurabh and mummy were still sleeping and I went till my french window. Yes it was my last day in Seattle and I knew, above everything else, how much I would miss my extremely lovable and extremely loving friends. I miss them still today.
and when did my heart hurt just as much before this? 2.5 years before the previous incident when I was sitting on the flight to Seattle (via Amsterdam), my parents and I were teary eyed, my brother , normally amused at this display of emotion were quiet and I had a beautiful letter in my hand. I didn't know a bird in Seattle (not that I know a bird in seattle now) but I didn't care about that. I cared more about leaving my family and my boyfriend. The memory of that flight (apart from good food), still makes me go numb and blank. Well, I never thought I would really make such great friends in Seattle that I would have to re-experience something similar while coming back.
Towards the end, in the movie sixth sense, Cole (the kid) tells Dr. Crowe (Bruce Willis), lets just pretend that we are going to see each other tomorrow, it makes goodbye very easy. Anybody who have experienced the pain of goodbye would know how profound it is.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Gift of Hope

How arrogant can a gift of hope make you?
Lately I was speaking to some of my college friends who claimed that Yuvvraaj made by maestro Subhash Ghai is worse than a few folks "My first project". Lots of folks said that he knew nothing about film making and used all the curse words their limited vocabulary could provide them. Saying that about a guy who has made 18 films out of which 14 were hits.
How many folks among 20 of us will be able to make our first film in coming 5 years? Almost everybody thinks they would. Almost everybody thinks their movie will be better than Subhash Ghai's movies. It's funny, almost ironical, the same set of guys who were dying to meet him, joined his institute, tgot exposed to Fellini and Truffaut and now they ridicule the guy, whose vision is their alma mater.

Infact some of them saw "Kagaz ke phool" recently. But they still don't get it. Do they? :)

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Life events

So my driver's name is Wasim- a 22 year old chap. Apart from possessing great Schumacher abilities of making me reach college in 30 mins (ideally 1 hour distance) he also possesses abilities to write good shayaris (poems in Urdu). I always felt that he is gifted. And would encourage him to write verses and stories instead of idling around with other drivers. Infact I gifted him a diary (that my dad had given me) saying that I am giving you a precious thing so you better write shaayaris everyday and I will listen to them.
Past one week he came up with beautiful thought provoking verses. He infact also cameup with a nice hindi film story (which actually gave me a good insight on what the lay man of India gets excited by) and I suggested him a few more stories to write based on his experiences as a taxi driver.
Now I am resistant to change (a surprise maybe for most people but I take a lot of time to start liking people and even more to get comfortable with them. I don't show it to them as that would totally eliminate the possibility of having a healthy relationship if that is feasible). It took me 8 months to actually start liking him and providing him all the employee satisfaction that is required so after investing all this I naturally wanted him to continue for a while.

Anyways coming back to the main plot. This morning he asked me lots of questions about me leaving microsoft and the fear of not being able to earn as much as I earned in this new profession. He asked me why did I change? Was I unhappy? Was I too old for shifting gears? Can I go back if I fail in this movie industry etc etc.
And I answered them all.(what I answered would be in my future blog entries)
And well this evening I came and he told me that he has decided to give up being a driver and be a full-fledged writer. Study more Urdu and improve his art.
I was initially very sad coz that would mean now I have to search for a new driver who is willing to wait for 14 hours in college. Also now I will have to basically go through this hate love cycle to allow another person in my routine. I was scared also if I have influenced him in taking a decision that might usher his financial doom (and going by the track-record of the faculty out here - also the doom of his personal life).
But well I was happy that atleast he has dared to choose something he wants to do. And I still feel he is talented enough to produce beautiful poetries and I hope him all the best and courage to face the hardships. In his own words:

"Hamein kaichiyon se kya darna
Pankhon se nahee, hum hausolon se udte hain."
(translated without doing the poetic justice)

"These scissors don't frighten me
Not with wings, but with courage I fly"